Back in Your Own Backyard

In a year and a half I will be 50. It’s really hard to wrap my mind around that. Time has become a strange thing. When I was little, summer seemed to last forever and I was so excited when the Back to School commercials would start airing. (That is something Brett can’t wrap his mind around. Those commercials devastated him.) But now, the seasons come and go so quickly. It’s almost August! Didn’t we JUST ring in the New Year?

I’ve always been someone who loves to learn about and do new things, see new places, have adventures. But after my mom died, I became kind of manic about it. Life had shown me first hand that tomorrow is not guaranteed and I felt like I had to hurry up and cram as much into my life as possible because death is coming. IT’S COMING! And time is running out!

The other night, Brett was traveling for work and I went for a bike ride and then sat out on our deck reading. I’ve always loved reading out there, but for some reason this night was different. I was appreciating it in a new way and feeling very alive. It was exactly where I wanted to be, and I had an epiphany.

I realized that living life to the fullest doesn’t mean always having to be off doing once in a lifetime things. Of course, those are great, but there is a lot of happiness to be had at home which is something I think I undervalued, especially when the house is empty and it’s just me.

I’m competitive, and it dawned on me that for the last several years, I was competing against death. I was going to WIN. He wasn’t going to get me until I had done everything I wanted to do. It was (and still is) my goal to throw as much paint on the canvas of life as possible, but I think I’ve finally lost the manic edge. Moments that may seem ordinary can be very special. It’s all in the way you look at it. Maybe at 48 ½, I’m finally growing up.

“Back In Your Own Backyard”

The bird with feathers of blue
Is waiting for you
Back in your own backyard
You’ll see your castles in Spain
Through your window pane
Back in your own backyard
Oh you can go to the East
Go to the West
But someday you’ll come
Weary at heart
Back where you started from
You’ll find your happiness lies
Right under your eyes
Back in your own backyard

Songwriters: Al Jolson / Billy Rose / Dave Dreyer

Back in Your Own Backyard lyrics © Bourne Co.

11 Comments on “Back in Your Own Backyard

  1. The milestone birthdays are difficult shocks but then we adjust. But yes, time goes much faster than it used to… But now I have to go and start writing my 2019 New Year’s resolutions 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. When I turned 49, I thought the same thing you did. Oh no! But it’s just a number.
    I’m taking it easy on my terrace. Reading blogs and enjoying the day. Have a great rest of your week. ~ Bernice

    Liked by 2 people

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